When I lost my job due to COVID-19, I thought it was the end of the world. Everyone kept consoling me, saying it’s God’s will. “God’s will,” I said. How can God leave me with no means to support myself? But I had to stop and think about all of this. First, I had my dream job and a boss that got me. Two months in, everything changed when they did some re-organizing.
I was placed with a boss who I call Cruella Deville. You know the antagonist from the book and Disney movie 101 Dalmatians. She was brash, ever opinionated, and loud. She would shut down my ideas as soon as I spoke them. She would say things like, “I know Janice needs her job” or “We’re not going to give Janice any high-level projects.” Yes, the rest of her team was white, and I was the only African American. She made it clear to the rest of the team that I was just the “help.”
This was my dream job. I was hanging in there as much as I could, and learning all I could all the while enduring these small micro-aggressions. Every time my boss discounted me or made her racist remarks, a piece of my soul died. I was trying to work with excellence, but working under those conditions and having everyone on the team treat me horribly took a toll on me. I dreaded going to work. I kept making small mistakes trying to be perfect. It frustrated me that I had to be perfect mind you. I only had 3 months on the job, virtually no training, and all the while, my job duties kept changing. No one else had to be perfect or instinctively know what to do when their job duties changed continuously but me.
When I stopped to think about the phrase “God’s will,” it led me to another phrase “God wouldn’t put more on you than you can bear,” then it started to click in my mind. God has better for me. He chose to remove me from that situation that was draining. He put me beside the still waters to give me rest. He knew that I could bare this momentary pause in my employment more than I could bear the rathe of a horrible boss. He was allowing me to think about what it is I really want to do and giving me the time to start down that path. My journey may not be easy, but it’s distinctively mine, and I am glad that I have a chance to develop my authentic self.
So, all of you out there that lost a job or are enduring hardships because of COVID-19 take some time to rest, then decide what it is that you really want to do and go for it!
Until next time – Enjoy the journey!
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