Essential Living Blog
On August 19th, 2022, at approximately 11:45 AM, I had to lay my dog to rest. This was devastating to me because I had to make the agonizing decision to pull the plug, so to speak. She developed a tumor on her brain, which caused her to have seizures. Her first seizure came out of nowhere. We were on our usual walk, and she dropped to the ground and started seizing.
I called my neighbor, and she came and picked us up. I got her home and called her vet, The Village Vets of Stone Mountain; they told me to take my seizure-prone dog to their facility in Decatur because they were too busy. At that time of day, it would have taken me 45 minutes to an hour. That devastated me. We had been going to that vet for 4 years, and those who really care for their dogs know how much money was spent at that establishment.
Luckily I had a backup vet at Snellville Animal Hospital. They got me in right away. I could tell the vet was very concerned, and he said that if she had never had a seizure before, it was most likely a tumor. But I guess he saw the look on my face, so he downplayed it.
She was fine when she went there to see him, so he told me to call back if she had another one and, after hours, go to one of his emergency vets.
She seized again that evening. I took her to the ER vet. They kept her for 2 days. She was so drugged up that when I brought her home, she wouldn't eat, and at that point, she hadn't eaten in two days. She also had diabetes, so we had to give her insulin in tiny doses. After two to three days, she finally started eating. I had to make her some ground beef and hand-feed her. Her hind legs were so weak that she couldn't get up independently. I had to hoist her up and hold her up to get her outside for bathroom breaks. I had to get a glucose reader to monitor her diabetes. It was round-the-clock care. She wasn't getting any better. I called her vet and Snellville Animal Hospital. We adjusted her dose of medication for the seizures.
She started coming around and being a little more like herself.
One of those days, I hoisted her up, took her to the bathroom, and then back inside. She was alone walking around the living room, so I had to run into the garage to get something. I grabbed something off the shelf and had my back to the door. Sasha liked to come into the garage with me. When I turned around, she was at the door, half in the garage and half out. She looked at me as if to say, "I tried, Mommy." She couldn't get herself up. It was then that my little dash of hope was gone. It really wasn't fair to her to try to keep her alive because I would miss her terribly. She was a strong-willed, feisty dog with a fierce streak of independence. For her to look at me defeated told me this wasn't a great quality of life for her. I also didn't want to remember her as weak and hurting. I let her go. I let her die with dignity.
I wanted to find out why this was so hard for me. She was just a dog, right, or at least that's what some people say. But my doggy's love seeped into my heart. That ball of fur, wet nose, and sloppy puppy kisses greeted me when I came home. No matter how I felt, she would lighten my mood. Not to mention it was the right thing to do for her. She didn't need to suffer anymore. But, still, it was more complicated than I thought it would be.
I pondered this for a long time. What about that kind of affection captures your heart? You hear that those who have pets are happier and live longer. What was it about all of that that made people feel loved? Then it hit me, unconditional love. Your pets love you regardless of what you did, what you said, or how you treat them. We human beings crave unconditional love because our society puts many conditions on everything we do. We walk into relationships, and there's a set of requirements just to be loved. To receive love, you either have to buy or provide something. You may have to prove that you are a great provider, a great homemaker, or that you can take care of the children before love is bestowed upon you.
Why is that? Why can't you come into a relationship with who you are? I know we are imperfect beings and must work on ourselves constantly; I'm not talking about that. We are all imperfect, and we must give each other the grace to improve our imperfections. Human relationships are vital for us to rise, survive and win.
Dogs, man, see into your heart, and you feel their love. It's naturally pure and raw love. That is why they become an integral part of your family. So, y'all, let's love today. I'm challenging you to love unconditionally and freely without trying to change the other person. Can you imagine it; a world full of true pure love!
Until we meet here again, stay flawless and fabulous!
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